Okay, I feel as if it's about time I addressed this and I don't really know how to as this is my first ever proper personal post and I don't want to say too much.
First of all, you may or may not know that I have anxiety and panic disorder, I also don't like to talk about this which I know is the completely wrong thing to do, but I'll maybe talk about that another time.
So, basically, over the past couple of months, I've had a really rubbish time. As a matter of fact, it all started before I began my blog a couple of months ago, then it all really kicked off around the time I began my blog and I've been using this as a distraction and creative outlet. I'm not going to say exactly what happened as I feel as if that would be too much information and I don't ever want this to come back around on me, but the majority of people will have went through the exact same experience.
Do you ever just feel as if you completely trust someone with your life? Then, they slowly start to turn into the person you'd never thought they would of become? A completely different person, no longer caring or considerate, just a complete personality transplant. Then you start to think is it something you've done wrong? Maybe you're not good enough? Yeah, that was me, over-thinking a situation as usual, except I wasn't.
I live in the countryside, so I was glad I didn't live in the town and I was more than happy to stay in the house, go on my laptop and listen to Ed Sheeran's new album all day, every day, which at the time was me in my comfort zone. My best friend tried to encourage me to leave the house for a bit and go into town for a bit of shopping to cheer me up. Even then, I got so worried and overthought situations that I could be in that I brought panic attacks upon myself, which made me feel even worse. The phrase 'worried sick' is an actual term and I'd never seen my panic attacks as bad before.
However, a few months on and I'm feeling better than I ever have in a very long time. I've been leaving my comfort zone behind, I've been worried about very little and I've even been on a few nights out with my friends, which was a rare occasion before. It just goes to show you how much one person can have an effect on your life. Then, it shows you how much they shouldn't have had an impact on your life. I haven't been this happy and contented in a very long time, I'm looking forward to events with my friends and I can't wait until uni starts again at the end of September, not only to see all my friends again and to see what we'll learn this year, but because we were even thinking about living in the student/party central area near my uni, which I thought I'd never do. I'm just trying to say yes to as many opportunities as possible and doing all of the things I never had the chance to before.
Waow, that was a ramble! I don't even know if I'm going to publish this, but I'm going to leave a few tips on how I like to stay happy, just incase anyone is having a particularly rubbish time at the minute.
Friends & Family
This ties in with the point before, but if there's someone or something in your life that doesn't make you happy, remove it. Yes, it's easier said than done, but you'll feel a lot better after it.
My space when I'm feeling down is particularly important to me. If I have all my stuff tidy and organised, it will help me focus on everything else. If everything's a mess, I get more stressed. I need my quiet place to take some deep breaths.
I wouldn't say that I have a completely healthy diet, but eating healthier makes me feel better on a day-to-day basis. However, if I'm in a bad mood I'm more likely to order and pizza and go on a sugar spree, so if it's going to happen, that's okay, I'll be fine the next day.
I'm the last person that you'll see exercising if I have more important things to do, but if I'm feeling particularly annoyed I like to get rid of the frustration by going on the cross-trainer or treadmill. If I'm more calm, I like to do some yoga and stretches or go a walk along the beach if I can as it calms me down and helps me to think more clearly.
Sleep is so important, on average you should be getting 8 hours of sleep a night. However, if I'm unhappy, I can't wait to get to bed and then I'm awake all night because I over-think. The best way I've found to get to sleep is by turning off my phone, laptop etc., light a candle, listen to music and just think about the words, or else read a book. Then whenever I feel sleepy, I lie down and try to sleep.
Some people listen to sad music when they're sad, some people listen to happy music when they're sad. To me, it doesn't really matter, just find something that you really love listening to and just think about the words. For me, I love to listen to Ed Sheeran, The 1975, Bastille, Passenger, Mumford & Sons, Lana Del Rey, etc. no matter what mood I'm in, but sometimes I just get that horrible lump in my throat at the more meaningful songs and I have to turn it over. If I'm angry, I like to listen to You Me At Six, Blink 182, Sum 41, Mayday Parade, etc. and it gets me pumped up to do some exercise.
It's Okay Not To Be Okay
I'm not one to cry, it's always been that way. I didn't even cry at The Fault In Our Stars! But if you need to cry, you need to cry. It will get it out of your system and you'll feel so much better after it.
Just Be Who You Are
You want to start a blog but you're worried what people will think? Do it anyway, you never know where it will take you. You want to wear that dress but you're worried people will stare at you? Do it anyway, they're probably thinking how great you look. If you want to do something, do it. Don't let anyone dictate what you can and cannot do. You are your own person, it's your life and the right people will support your decisions.
So, there we go, my first ever proper personal post. I did get into a bit of a ramble in parts and there's so much I had to cut out, but it's been a big relief for me. What do you think of this more personal post? Do you have any tips on being happy? Let me know in the comments!